Crime Safe

Love is only love when you give it away, but when you give it away you will feel pain, and why is this?

If love is never ending why do break ups happen? This is my first relationship and My world is turned upside down when my break up happened. I have to learn the sad reality that the love I thought was forever is now over. It's like unexpectedly being doused with an icy cold bucket of water.

I am forced to look at life differently, I am forced to accept the truth that my everyday life, will no longer include the one I love.

But I am grateful and feel gratitude about having the opportunity to share so many pleasant memories with her. I wish her well with whatever future may be in store for her.

I learn allot from this relationship, and I am grateful for the experience and the love that I have felt, now is time to move on, to create a new life. But I must learn from my experience as I am also responsible to cause the demise of this 3 year relationship. The question is will I be moving into a new relationship? No, not untill I have let go, I am still now going through the process, not untill I have accept the fact that she will never becoming back.

At the mean time while going through this break up process, instead of avoiding love, why not study and understand it. It has almost been 3 months now since the break up, I already avoided the pain long enough, I have drink way too many alcohol, I should stop now, really stop and be responsible.

Because it takes more courage to face the pain rather than to run away from it, to really sit down to feel and experience the pain, and what actions that I did that had contributed to this pain, and then learn from it, so that I can create a good future relationship.

It is easier said than done, but I must try, I must. But I am grateful that I am given an opportunity to suffer this pain, because life is short, and not many people get to experience all of life, I have experience love and now I will experience the pain of seperation.

I went to research on what is the meaning of love, and I found a few quotes, and a few opinions on love, I have included those that relate best to me.

"Love differs from heart to heart, love can be good and can be bad. To love and be loved is the perefect ingredients to happiness but to love and not be loved will be a darkness in your soul. Being in love is like a drop of water after years of draught, it eases your souls agonies of life. Being in love is a feeling not all humans will experience. So if you have it cherish.......just love it..BIGSAL"

I am very grateful that I have experienced love, and to be love back in return, I thank god for this blessing, and when I break up besides feeling despair, I also felt a sense of hapiness, happy because the one I love chooses to move on in her life, chooses to re-create her life.

Love has never been defined since man began, so we have to use our own hearts and minds to decide. Love isn't all about looking at a good looking woman/man and hearing fireworks go off all the time. That's usually physical attraction, but it's normal at the beginning of our relationship. Love is respect, wanting to help that person in any aspect of their lives; protect them from harm's way; knowing that each other will be there 100%; feeling safe with that person; proud of being with them; sharing your hopes and dreams together; and my favorite ... feeling like you can conquer the world together! Knowing you will be together no matter what and continue on until the day you pass away. Now that's love to me!

love is about feeling safe with that person, this relates to me, it a feeling like time stops when you are together, it is a feeling like nothing else matters in this world when both are together, it is the warmth, the togetherness, the support and the faith to each other, It is the commitment to each other, what is missing in my relationship is the warmth and faith I have for her, that is why it has ended this way. I find it very true is that only when I write it down, then only can I study why and what happened.

Love is also loving your self so that you can give it away to your other half, because you can only give away what you have, what you don't have you cant give. The reason for my break up is also because I do not love my self, I do not feel that I am worthy, and I do not feel that I am good enough. If we aren't happy with ourselves and tripping over ourselves to always please our partner without expecting anything back, then this cant be called as love, as this is unhealthy, this is an unhealthy relationship with one self, and when you have an unhealthy relationship with one self then how can you have a healthy relationship with your other half.

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserveres. Love never fails!"

This qoute relate to me because I am not patient, I am not patient to listen to what she have to say, and I am always expecting her to love me in return, and I always keeps my feelings to my self, I am not honest for I didnt tell her how I feel, for I keep my feelings, If I am given another chance to love, I will be honest about my feelings, I will be patient, I will listen and respect my other half.

I work in a nursing home, where over the years i have seen some of the most touching displays of love. For example, I used to work with a little old lady about age 87 with advanced stage alzheimers. She couldn't speak but would still smile at you all day l. Her husband, who was of sound mind, would come every single day, rain or shine, to sit and walk around with her. The person she used to be is completely gone and yet he still is by her side every day. At the risk of sounding maudlin, if thats not true love than I dont know what is. I can only hope to be so lucky one day!

Both the old man and the old woman are very blessed to have each other, and it is really true that most people dont experience that in their life time, I have know a few in my family. I feel sad for them. If I am allowed a prayer, then let my prayer be to find my other half that would allow us both to experience our full human existence.

Let my prayer be to let every one in this world to find true love, to be blessed enough to experience love, so that every one can experience living a full filing life.