Crime Safe

We come out we study, we grow to become adults then we choose to study in colledge, and come out to work, and slowly loose the sense of self.


"You got to know your self then only could you succeed" this sentence keeps ringing in my head as I have just come back from a talk. It is not a mater of what you want todo, but the real question is do you know who your really are Kian? Do you really know who you are.

When people ask me who I am, I would answer quickly, well I am Kian, but Kian is not who I am that is merely my name, then I would say I am an Analysts programmer and also a part time insurance agent, but again that is not who I am that is my job, my occupation. So what defines me, what defines my identity.

When I know what and who I am, then perhaps the meaning of life would come easily to me. What am I here to do, weather we like it or not, life is a one way journey, I am born, I live then the end journey is I die. So now what ? What do I really want to do with my life now at this age of 25. I came back from a time management training, the trainer said something that rings in my head. Are you going to be a big white shark or are you going to be merely just a coral fish, small colorful coral fish, that swims as a swarm, when you see the swarm you will not notice the single fishes, all you see is the whole swarm of colorful fish, and collectively as a whole swarm they look beautiful. But when a great shark were to pass through the great swarm of coral fish, you would notice that they would give way to the shark, as its presence can be felt. So what do I want to do with this life of mine ?

The other statement that bothers me would also be that he said, if you are some one who sway back and forth and do not know where you are going, the good advise is not to have a girl friend, and the worse thing that can happen is to marry the woman and later give birth to children, as your children would follow you, that is what exactly had happened in my family. Children need a strong father, a father who is grounded, so that they have a piller to ground their life on, and our children would always grow up to be like us, because that is who they learn from. If you have children may god help them, at least if you give them to the orphanage home they would be far more better than staying with you.

I guess this is one reason why my Ex-Girl friend left me, as she is wise, cause she could see this in me. Its a great discovery , so now what, now what do I want to do with my life.

I want to do something significant, I want to live a life of significance. But what am I going to do, and who am I.

I am a impatient and dramatic man,

The trainer also said that self pity would not help, as it serves no pourpose, and it is not productive.